HOW SHE LIVED

10616039_10204958077065580_77394926022498946_nI’ve told her story to my closest friends but I’ve been trying to wait until the right moment to share it publicly and I can’t think of a better time than now to share with you how my mom died, but before I can tell you how she died, allow me tell you how she lived.

My mom championed her role as mom, I’m talking, she slayed it! If there were awards given out in each category of parenting, i.e. “Most Loving,” “Hardest Working,” “Funniest,” “Most Giving,” “Most Likely To Harm Anyone That Hurt Her Children…” well, you get it, if they had that sort of thing in life, no other mom would have a shot, she would walk away with them all. True Story. She was just that doggone good at being a mom. In other words, if you didn’t know her, I feel really sorry for you. Just because she was an expert mom doesn’t mean that she had it easy, in fact, just the opposite. She was truly set up to fail. Here’s the part that isn’t so pretty but facts are facts, Jack. My father left my mom when she was pregnant with me, and at the same time, was expecting a child with another woman. S I D E N O T E : When you think you have a dysfunctional family, please remember that EVERY family has “junk!” He had multiple extramarital affairs throughout their 12 year marriage but as a young child, I never once remember her speaking negatively of my father, and as I grew up I realized that she was allowing us to make our own mind up about him without any influence.  She was great like that. I could say so much more but this isn’t about him, it’s about her!

So, here she was, a single mom of three girls, with no child support and no clue how she was going to make ends meet. Some probably would’ve given up and God knows that she probably wanted to at times but you know what she did, what most women couldn’t, she put her big girl pants on and got three jobs and survived that junk! I remember my Kindergarten teacher telling her that I was the only child from a broken home that she had ever known that she couldn’t tell was from a broken home. Now, that is a good momma!

I’m going to fast forward a bit.  My two sisters are quite a bit older than I (they love when I say that)! They both got married and moved out and that left just the two of us, my mom and I. She went to college when I was 14 and earned a degree in social work so that she could help others like her. She had the house that everyone wanted to be at because everyone wanted to be around her. She was contagious and that laugh… We were as close as a mother/daughter could be. I used to crawl in her bed at night, just to talk. We talked about everything, laughed a lot, cried a ton, and when she was just about asleep, I would always say, “one more thing…” and wake her again. She never complained once. Even after Matthew and I were married, and even after we had MC, anytime we went for a visit, I would crawl in to her bed at night for our talks. I have to say that has been the hardest part about her leaving, just not getting to have our daily talks, well, and her horrible rendition of “You Are My Sunshine.” I knew it would be, after her diagnosis, and after I cried all of the tears that the world could hold, I looked at her and said, “I know how selfish I’m being, but I’m not worried about you, you’re going to be fine, living it up with Jesus but what about me, who in the world am I going to talk to five times a day, every day?” She looked at me and said, “well, Delecta, I guess it’s time for you to get yourself a friend.” Wow mom, way to make me feel like a big fat loser! 🙂

She just loved life, plain and simple and she taught me how to love life and how to love my daughter. My goal as a parent is to raise my daughter in the exact same way that she raised me.

Realistically, I don’t even know how to end this post because there is so much good that I could share about her so I won’t end it, I will say “to be continued” and send you off with that horrible rendition of “You Are My Sunshine” that has now become one of the most beautiful things I’ve ever heard.

…”one more thing,” yes, tomorrow’s post will be tough but it’s the most beautiful story I’ve ever known so you will not want to miss the best part of the story.

 

 

 

 

 

17 thoughts on “HOW SHE LIVED

  1. Anita Holland says:

    Oh my goodness! That just made me cry! There has never been another like Aunt Lindann and I am so sorry that I didn’t get to see her (and y’all) before she left but that little video clip did my heart good!!

  2. Joy Bryan says:

    OMG D, I have tried 4 times to read this and had to stop and blow my nose and wipe my eyes. You have a way with words that just perfectly described this wonderful, loving, talented, funny, loving, sweet, loving, kindhearted , loving, inspirational, giving, loving, selfless, nurturing, loving woman that you were so fortunate to call mom. And she has raised three women that are so much like her it is just amazing. I look forward to reading the rest of your story about her, even though I know a lot of the story. Love you girl. Now I gotta go blow my nose again.

    • Delecta says:

      Joy, this is the sweetest comment!!! Thank you so much for reading. She really was so great. I miss that woman so much!

      • Joy Bryan says:

        She truly was one of a kind. Hugs to you and your sisters. You three are such a wonderful legacy for her to leave this world with. Love you all.

  3. Kelli Coons says:

    Delecta,
    Having lost my mom just over 8 months ago, I am still missing those random calls and longing to speak to her just one more time. I too, long selfishly in the what about me moments. I know my mother is exactly where we all aspire to be. Would I bring her back if I could knowing all the beauty she has seen? Selfishly most people would say yes, but I say no because I want that for her. She was the best, she is now in the best place with the best people. Prayers for your comfort and strength.

    • Delecta says:

      Exactly!!! Even though I desperately want her back, I know that she wouldn’t want that after being with Jesus in paradise. It is so hard. Thanks for your sweet comment.

  4. I love your post, and I loved your Mom and you girls. Please note that your Dad did not leave her on count of me, it was someone else. I am not a bad person, I tried. But, he done me the same way. Your Mom and you girls really taught me how to deal with my problem. I love ya’ll.

    • Delecta says:

      You are too sweet! Thank you Janet! I seriously almost added in the blog how great you are and how happy I am that I have a brother through the situation. I don’t blame you whatsoever and neither did my mom. 😘

  5. Thank you Delecta, Brian and I love y’all so much. I also miss my Mom and Dad and siblings that have past.

  6. Shirley Dorsey says:

    Delecta, you should write a book about your mother. She was truly one of the most lovable woman I have ever known. She would have “killed” for her children. I loved her pride in being who she was and never being ashamed of her circumstances. How beautifully she rose above it all and got her degree. She loved her Lord with a very passionate heart and loved to tell about Him.you You and your sisters are very special to me.

    • Delecta says:

      This is one of the most precious messages I’ve ever read. Thank you so much for sharing these sweet sweet words about her. She truly was one of a kind.

  7. Tammy Simpsob says:

    Delecta, with tears streaming down my face thank you for sharing your Moms story! She was one beautiful courageous women! I can see your mother in you! Much Love, Tammy

  8. Cara Greene says:

    What a beautiful story! Your mama was so proud of you girls and loved you all very much. So glad you shared such special memories of a woman we all thought so much of .

  9. Sweetie, it’s been 14 yrs and I still have so many days, like today that, I really really could use my Mom…What a true Blessing it is to have a Mom that also is one of your best friends…I watched you 3 grow up, with one of the most inspirational women. Loved me some Linda… but then to know Linda was to love Linda…

  10. Gail Chambless says:

    You don’t know me and probably never heard my name BUT I’ve known your mom since beauty school. She, back then, was the warmest, most loving and funniest girl I had ever met. She had shoulders as wide as the world if you needed that shoulder. I knew her when she married and she did get a rough deal all the way. She has touched every person who ever met her. One thing about Linda, you could always see Jesus in her. Heaven is not the same place anymore. ALWAYS laughter in the air.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: