I’ve told her story to my closest friends but I’ve been trying to wait until the right moment to share it publicly and I can’t think of a better time than now to share with you how my mom died, but before I can tell you how she died, allow me tell you how she lived.
My mom championed her role as mom, I’m talking, she slayed it! If there were awards given out in each category of parenting, i.e. “Most Loving,” “Hardest Working,” “Funniest,” “Most Giving,” “Most Likely To Harm Anyone That Hurt Her Children…” well, you get it, if they had that sort of thing in life, no other mom would have a shot, she would walk away with them all. True Story. She was just that doggone good at being a mom. In other words, if you didn’t know her, I feel really sorry for you. Just because she was an expert mom doesn’t mean that she had it easy, in fact, just the opposite. She was truly set up to fail. Here’s the part that isn’t so pretty but facts are facts, Jack. My father left my mom when she was pregnant with me, and at the same time, was expecting a child with another woman. S I D E N O T E : When you think you have a dysfunctional family, please remember that EVERY family has “junk!” He had multiple extramarital affairs throughout their 12 year marriage but as a young child, I never once remember her speaking negatively of my father, and as I grew up I realized that she was allowing us to make our own mind up about him without any influence. She was great like that. I could say so much more but this isn’t about him, it’s about her!
So, here she was, a single mom of three girls, with no child support and no clue how she was going to make ends meet. Some probably would’ve given up and God knows that she probably wanted to at times but you know what she did, what most women couldn’t, she put her big girl pants on and got three jobs and survived that junk! I remember my Kindergarten teacher telling her that I was the only child from a broken home that she had ever known that she couldn’t tell was from a broken home. Now, that is a good momma!
I’m going to fast forward a bit. My two sisters are quite a bit older than I (they love when I say that)! They both got married and moved out and that left just the two of us, my mom and I. She went to college when I was 14 and earned a degree in social work so that she could help others like her. She had the house that everyone wanted to be at because everyone wanted to be around her. She was contagious and that laugh… We were as close as a mother/daughter could be. I used to crawl in her bed at night, just to talk. We talked about everything, laughed a lot, cried a ton, and when she was just about asleep, I would always say, “one more thing…” and wake her again. She never complained once. Even after Matthew and I were married, and even after we had MC, anytime we went for a visit, I would crawl in to her bed at night for our talks. I have to say that has been the hardest part about her leaving, just not getting to have our daily talks, well, and her horrible rendition of “You Are My Sunshine.” I knew it would be, after her diagnosis, and after I cried all of the tears that the world could hold, I looked at her and said, “I know how selfish I’m being, but I’m not worried about you, you’re going to be fine, living it up with Jesus but what about me, who in the world am I going to talk to five times a day, every day?” She looked at me and said, “well, Delecta, I guess it’s time for you to get yourself a friend.” Wow mom, way to make me feel like a big fat loser! 🙂
She just loved life, plain and simple and she taught me how to love life and how to love my daughter. My goal as a parent is to raise my daughter in the exact same way that she raised me.
Realistically, I don’t even know how to end this post because there is so much good that I could share about her so I won’t end it, I will say “to be continued” and send you off with that horrible rendition of “You Are My Sunshine” that has now become one of the most beautiful things I’ve ever heard.
…”one more thing,” yes, tomorrow’s post will be tough but it’s the most beautiful story I’ve ever known so you will not want to miss the best part of the story.